Oh, man. The best day yet. I’m walking up the driveway with Mommy and Nigel, and I hear this beep beep beep. It’s Rich, the guy who brings the bath to us! He calls it Bark, Bathe and Beyond. He has the coolest van that drives backwards up our driveway and lets me sit in the front seat with him sometimes.  Stupid Nigel usually doesn’t get baths with Rich, because most of the time he rolls in something dead and Daddy has to hose him down in the driveway before he’s allowed back in the house.

First, it’s my turn.  Because I say so.  I get to go and Nigel has to stay.  Stay, Nigel. Stay! Ha! ha!

Anyway. I told Rich he could just drive away because Nigel didn’t want to get a bath anyway. I told him that he didn’t have to walk me to the door to Mamma, because I had a few errands to run first and I’d find my way back. Dang. I’ll find a way, next time. Until then,I’m going to keep my eye on things so I can be sure that Rich doesn’t give Nigel a better bath than me.

I heard Daddy telling my neighbor that the reason I like it when Rich brings the bath here, is because I get a happy ending. A happy ending for me would be if I got two baths and Nigel got none. A hound can dream, can’t he.

After approximately $1200, three rounds of anti-inflammatories, x-rays read by a Vet, a Doggie Radiologist and a Doggie Orthopedic Surgeon, we have a diagnosis about Nigel’s limp.

::drum roll, please::

Nigel has a gnarled leg.

Does it hurt him? Not really. Does it slow him down? not really. Is it going to get worse? probably not. Is it indicative of something big and bad? No.

Sigh.

What’s worse than a centipede with athlete’s foot? A Basset with an ear infection. Nigel has one of those, too. I wonder if Pug owners have to take their dogs in to be treated for smashed faces.

Mine. Mine,mine, mine. My Mommy measured and mine is longer than Jean-Luc’s so Hah Hah Hah. By a whole half-inch. I know because when I walk, they touch the ground. so I have a longer ear than Jean-Luc, who is such a sissy that he doesn’t put his ears in the bowl when he drinks his water, and such a shorter-eared-hound that he doesn’t leave a trail.

so, I win.